Where all the good guys are

Where all the good guys are -- Women always seem to ask me where all the good men are, as if these near-mythical dudes are hiding behind bushes, chained up in some vampire's basement, or are just rare and elusive, like the snow leopard.

Normally, I have to resist responding, "Maybe the good guys are just avoiding you."

But the answer to this frequent, lovelorn lament is simple: The good men are right under your nose.

And that's the damn truth. That's right, ladies. The good men you pine for are right there, all up in your grill, listening to your bellyaching, patiently enduring your inability to manage your own flamboyant, capricious romantic expectations and dreary reality.

These good guys are co-workers, classmates, and, most importantly, friends. You officially have my permission as a relationship expert with a Ph.D. in Broken Hearts from the University of Feelings, Emoburg campus, to fall in love with your male friends.

I blame your gender, after all, for inventing what The Frisky site refers to as "The Friend Zone." It's not a "zone." One loses weight in a "zone," or tells time there. Or learns a dark lesson about human nature during a twist ending.

No. "The Friend Zone" is actually a gulag. The Bermuda Triangle. A cruel little exile. Right now, there is a man in your life who feels you in his teeth, but who walks around with an "F" for "Friend" seared onto his forehead by a glowing-red iron you keep perpetually cooking in the furnace of your heart. You cannot think of him "that way."

At what point did he go from potential dating material to platonic bestie? Possibly the moment he started remembering your favorite alcoholic drink, instant messaging you about "Mad Men," and listening to you drone on about your thighs, again. Because love is intently listening to someone repeat themselves.

This dude adores you and you are denying yourself potential joy because of some imaginary rule. The heart is a frontier full of peril and plunder, and you should not be afraid to explore what lies beyond hastily built fences.
I'm not saying men and women can't be friends. We totally can. I won't confirm the famous lesson from "When Harry Met Sally," which remains smug Baby Boomer treacle.

I don't want to sleep with all my female friends. I've thought about it, but I don't think that's gender-specific. Just human curiosity.

So do it! Hook up with your dude friend. Life is too short to be afraid of ruining a friendship, especially if there's a chance you could be more to one another, like epically cosmic lovers worthy of your own constellation in the night sky.

Friendships are as fluid as romances; they can end as suddenly as they can begin. In many ways, they're overrated. You know what's not overrated? Love. It's awesome.
We're talking about the meaning of life here. And it's to find someone whom you can grow old, fat, and ugly with. Our romantic rituals revolve around complete strangers negotiating for sex, then attempting to become friends. It's as if our society demands there's a dating you and a real you, and a relationship happens when two people agree to abandon the mutual lie. Cut to the chase. Friends already know how to play, laugh, and forgive each other.

Two of my longest relationships were with women whom I had been friends with. I loved them both, initially from afar. In both instances, we stepped off a cliff together without looking like the Fool in most tarot card decks. We took a risk, molted out of our friendship, and transformed into something else. And there was that moment of recognition, where we both said "screw it," took a risk, and realized that you can't win big if you don't gamble big. And a shot at conjugal and emotional bliss is quite a prize.

The first time, we were in the middle of a "Friends" marathon, and we took a break so she could shower. She came back with wet hair, and I had never seen her without make-up and when she plopped onto the couch, I kissed her. We both freaked out:

She stormed into the kitchen; I paced in a circle. Then we decided to make out some more. It helped. The second was a friend who proved to me she was no princess at a party by shot-gunning a can of beer. I immediately told her that I was falling for her, and she told me to wear a helmet. She kissed me, our quiet garden of a friendship suddenly a wildfire.

I wouldn't say I'm friends with these women; we broke up for the reasons people break up -- changing priorities, the mean little pianos life drops on your head. Maybe we would have drifted apart regardless. We're not friends now, but I don't regret giving it a shot. Kisses are the only things you can steal and never have to give back. And at least I'll have those until the day I croak. ( thefrisky.com )

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Whitney Houston's mother has words for Bobby Brown

Whitney Houston's mother has words for Bobby Brown — Cissy Houston has a few words, and a few more, for Bobby Brown.

In "Remembering Whitney," the mother of the late Whitney Houston writes that from the start she had doubted whether Brown was right for her daughter. And she thinks that Whitney might not have ended up so "deep" into drugs had they not stayed together.

"I do believe her life would have turned out differently," Houston writes. "It would have been easier for her to get sober and stay sober. Instead she was with someone who, like her, wanted to party. To me, he never seemed to be a help to her in the way she needed."

Associated Press - This Jan. 22, 2013 photo shows American gospel singer and author Cissy Houston posing for a portrait in New York. Houston, mother of the late singer Whitney Houston, is releasing a book, "Remembering Whitney," on Tuesday, Jan. 29. (Photo by Dan Hallman/Invision/AP)

"Remembering Whitney" came out Tuesday, two weeks short of the first anniversary of Houston's death. She drowned in a hotel bathtub in Beverly Hills, Calif., at age 48. Authorities said her death was complicated by cocaine use and heart disease.

During a recent telephone interview, Houston said she has no contact with Brown and didn't see any reason to, not even concerning her granddaughter, Bobbi Kristina. She reaffirmed her comments in the book that Whitney Houston would have been better off without him. "How would you like it if he had anything to do with your daughter?" she asked.

A request to Brown's publicist for comment was not immediately returned Monday.

Houston said she wanted the book published so the world would not believe the worst about her daughter. Cissy Houston, herself an accomplished soul and gospel singer who has performed with Elvis Presley and Aretha Franklin, describes Whitney as a transcendent talent and vivacious and generous person known affectionately by her childhood nickname, "Nippy." But she acknowledges in the book that her daughter could be "mean" and "difficult" and questions at times how well she knew her.

"In my darkest moments, I wonder whether Nippy loved me," she writes. "She always told me she did. But you know, she didn't call me much. She didn't come see me as much as I hoped she would."

But, "almost always," Whitney Houston was "the sweetest, most loving person in the room."

Brown is portrayed as childish and impulsive, hot tempered and jealous of his wife's success. Cissy Houston describes a 1997 incident when Whitney sustained a "deep cut" on her face while on a yacht with Brown in the Mediterranean. Whitney insisted it was an accident; Brown had slammed his hand on a table, breaking a plate. A piece of china flew up and hit Whitney, requiring surgery to cover any possible scar.

The injury was minor, the effects possibly fateful.

"She seemed sadder after that, like something had been taken away from her," Houston writes.

For years, Whitney's drug problems had been only a rumor to her mother, who writes that concerns expressed by record executive Clive Davis were kept from her by her daughter and others. But by 2005 she had seen the worst. Houston remembers a horrifying visit to the Atlanta home of Brown and Houston, where the walls and doors were spray-painted with "big glaring eyes and strange faces." Whitney's face had been cut out from a framed family picture, an image Cissy Houston found "beyond disturbing." The next time Houston came to the house, she was joined by two sheriff's deputies who helped her take Whitney to the hospital.

"She was so angry at me, cursing me and up and down," she writes. "Eventually, after a good long while, Nippy did stop being angry at me. She realized that I did what I did to protect her, and she later told people that I had saved her life."

Brown and Whitney Houston divorced in 2007, after 15 years of marriage. When she learned that her daughter was leaving Brown, Cissy Houston was "extremely relieved" and "thanking God so much I'm sure nobody else could get a prayer in to Him."

Houston has no doubt that if Whitney were alive she would still be singing and making records. Houston said during her interview that she has seen "Sparkle," a remake of the 1970s movie that came out last summer and featured Whitney as the mother of a singing group struggling with addiction. Although Cissy Houston doesn't like movies about "drugs and all that kind of stuff," she was impressed by "Sparkle."

"I thought she was great in it and all the kids were great," says Houston, who adds that the "whole movie was hard to get through."

The book, too, was painful and her grief continues. She writes that sometimes she hears a doorbell ring and thinks it's Whitney, or sees a vase in a different place and wonders if her daughter is around. Some nights, Cissy Houston wakes up crying, not sure at first where she is.

"But then I get up out of bed, wipe my eyes, wash my face, and lie back down to my sleep. Because that is all I can do," she writes. "I am so grateful to God for giving me the gift of 48 years with my daughter. And I accept that He knew when it was time to take her." ( Associated Press )

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Indy 500 winner Wheldon dies after massive wreck

Indy 500 winner Wheldon dies after massive wreck — Every race car driver heads onto the track understanding this race could be the last and hoping it won't be.

On Sunday, IndyCar drivers got a harsh reminder when the worst happened to one of their own.

Two-time Indianapolis 500 winner Dan Wheldon died when his car got caught up in a 15-car pileup, sailed over another vehicle and smashed into a catch fence at IndyCar's season-ending race at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

"Things happen in this kind of racing," said Wade Cunningham, also caught up in the wreck. "It's so close. Not much room for error. I was near the front of what caused all this, so I'm not thrilled about it. At this point, whose fault it was is kind of immaterial."

The green flag had barely stopped waving when disaster struck.

Wheldon, driving from the back of the field for a chance at $5 million, was moving through the pack when he drove into a tangle of cars careening off each other in every direction.

Unable to avoid the massive wreck unfolding before him, Wheldon clipped another car and went hurtling through the air, his car bursting into flames as it flew into a fence.

Bryan Herta Autosport driver Dan Wheldon of England poses with his family, wife Susie (L) holding son Oliver with older son Sebastian (R), next to the BorgWarner trophy the day after winning the Indianapolis 500 auto race in Indianapolis, Indiana, in this May 30, 2011 file photo. Wheldon was killed in a multi-car wreck during the IZOD IndyCar World Championship race at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway on October 16, 2011, according to local media. REUTERS/Jeff Haynes/Files (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT MOTORSPORT OBITUARY TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY)

After just 11 laps, the race was over. Two hours later, track officials announced that Wheldon was dead. The Englishman was 33.

"One minute you're joking around at driver intros and the next, Dan's gone," said Dario Franchitti, whose wife, actress Ashley Judd, had to bring him a box of tissues. "I lost, we lost, a good friend. Everybody in the IndyCar series considered him a friend. He was such a good guy. He was a charmer."

With the speed — close to 225 mph during practice — and a crowded 34-car field, a big worry was aggressive driving early in the 200-lap race.

Chaos started when two cars touched tires coming around turn 2 and almost no one had time to react.

Within seconds, several cars burst into flames and debris covered the track nearly halfway up the straightaway. Some points of impact were so devastating workers had to patch holes in the asphalt.

Video replays showed Wheldon's car turning over as it went airborne and sailed into what's called the catch fence, which sits over a barrier designed to give a bit when cars make contact. Rescue workers were at Wheldon's car quickly, some furiously waving for more help to get to the scene.

"It's unfortunate that early on in the race they've got to be racing so close. ...," Team Penske owner Roger Penske said. "You always worry about those at these mile-and-a-halves at the speed and with this many cars."

Three other drivers, including championship contender Will Power, were hurt in the pileup.

Wheldon was airlifted from the track to University Medical Center; news of his death came from IndyCar CEO Randy Bernard:

"IndyCar is very sad to announce that Dan Wheldon has passed away from unsurvivable injuries," he said. "Our thoughts and prayers are with his family today. IndyCar, its drivers and owners, have decided to end the race."

In his honor, drivers, many sobbing openly, took part in a five-lap salute around the 1.5-mile oval as thousands of fans stood and cheered from the grandstand.

Also injured in the crash were JR Hildebrand and Pippa Mann. Both will remain in the hospital overnight. IndyCar said Mann was being treated for a burn to her right pinkie finger and will be released Monday morning; Hildebrand was awake and alert but will be held overnight for further evaluation. Power was evaluated and released.

An autopsy was planned Monday for Wheldon.

"I'll tell you, I've never seen anything like it," Ryan Briscoe said. "The debris we all had to drive through the lap later, it looked like a war scene from Terminator or something. I mean, there were just pieces of metal and car on fire in the middle of the track with no car attached to it and just debris everywhere. So it was scary, and your first thoughts are hoping that no one is hurt because there's just stuff everywhere. Crazy."

IndyCar has not had a fatality since Paul Dana was killed at Homestead in 2006 during a crash in a morning warmup. Wheldon won the race later that day.

The accident appeared to start when Cunningham's car swerved on the track and Hildebrand drove over the left rear of Cunningham's car. Hildebrand appeared to go airborne, and Cunningham's car shot up into the wall, setting off a chain reaction among the cars behind him.

Some of those cars slowed, others didn't, and others spun in front of Wheldon and Power. There was so much confusion on the track it was hard to tell who was driving what car.

Power appeared to fly over Alex Lloyd's car, his ride rolling into the catch fence and landing on its right side. His in-car camera showed one of the front tires coming toward him in the cockpit.

Wheldon then appeared to drive over a car driven by Paul Tracy, who seemed to be slowing down. Wheldon, however, went airborne and spun into the fence.

"It was like a movie scene which they try to make as gnarly as possible," said Danica Patrick, making her final IndyCar start. "It was debris everywhere across the whole track. You could smell the smoke. You could see the billowing smoke on the back straight from the car. There was a chunk of fire that we were driving around. You could see cars scattered."

Wheldon, who came to the United States from England in 1999, won 16 times in his IndyCar career and was the series champion in 2005.

Despite winning this year's Indy 500, Wheldon couldn't put together a full-time ride this season but had a deal in the works for 2012.

Andretti Autosport, the team with which Wheldon won the 2005 Indy 500, had agreed to a contract early Sunday for Wheldon to replace Patrick next season. The deal was supposed to be signed after the race.

"Back when he was with the team in '05, we referred to the team as The Beatles because it was such perfect harmony (with his teammates) — and with Dan coming back, there was talk of putting The Beatles back together," said John Lopes, chief marketing officer and VP of marketing for Andretti Autosport. "So today is devastating. We not only lost a future teammate, but a longtime teammate. It's so sad. He's going to be sorely missed and fondly remembered."

Wheldon landed in the Las Vegas race thanks to Bernard's promise of $5 million to any moonlighting driver who could win the IndyCar season finale. Although there were no takers, Bernard refused to scrap the idea and Wheldon was declared eligible for the prize, which would have been split with a fan.

Asked about speed after the crash, Wheldon's former boss Chip Ganassi said, "There'll be plenty of time in the offseason to talk about that. Now is not the time to talk about that."

And Franchitti said: "I agree. We'll discuss that and sort it out."

But driver Oriol Servia didn't mince words: "We all had a bad feeling about this place in particular just because of the high banking and how easy it was to go flat. And if you give us the opportunity, we are drivers and we try to go to the front. We race each other hard because that's what we do," he said. "We knew it could happen, but it's just really sad."

Wheldon had been providing blog posts for USA Today in the days leading up to the Las Vegas race, and in one posted Saturday to the newspaper's website he spoke of how he expected Sunday to be "pure entertainment."

"This is going to be an amazing show," Wheldon wrote. "The two championship contenders, Dario Franchitti and Will Power, are starting right next to each other in the middle of the grid. Honestly, if I can be fast enough early in the race to be able to get up there and latch onto those two, it will be pure entertainment. It's going to be a pack race, and you never know how that's going to turn out."

The accident spoiled what Bernard had hoped would be a showcase event for the struggling IndyCar Series.

The second-year CEO worked the entire season on turning the finale into a spectacle, and said he would offer his resignation to the IndyCar board of directors if ABC's broadcast didn't pull a .8 ranking. His goal was to improve upon last year's horrible television rating for the season finale and give the series some momentum for a strong season in 2013 with the introduction of a new car and new manufacturers.

So Bernard poured everything into Las Vegas, renting the speedway from owner Bruton Smith and agreeing to promote the event himself. He landed enough sponsorship to at least break even, and the $5 million challenge bought him an enormous amount of publicity the entire year.

Bernard got the Las Vegas Strip to close to stage a parade of cars, and hosted industry parties and a blackjack tournament to boost interest in the race. He even got MGM Grand Resorts to offer a pair of tickets to anyone staying this weekend in one of the chain's 14 properties.

But what was hoped to be a day of celebration quickly turned somber.

When drivers returned to the track for the tribute laps, Wheldon's No. 77 was the only one on the towering scoreboard. Franchitti sobbed uncontrollably as he got back into his car for the memorial ride. The sound of "Danny Boy" echoed around the track, followed by "Amazing Grace." Hundreds of crew workers and representatives from each team stood at attention in honor of Wheldon.

"What can you say? We're going to miss him," Ganassi said. "Everybody in IndyCar died a little today." ( Associated Press )

READ MORE - Indy 500 winner Wheldon dies after massive wreck

The year-zero face: is 36 the perfect age for a woman?

The year-zero face: is 36 the perfect age for a woman? - A cocktail of fillers, Botox and chemical peels can freeze your features at 30-something. For a woman like Demi Moore, approaching 50, this is understandable. But why would a girl barely out of her teens deliberately want to look "done"? Welcome to the year-zero face…

Let me pinpoint the very moment the world first became aware of the ageless, year-zero face: it was under the Louvre at Paris Fashion Week as 2009 drew to a smoky close. On the Ungaro catwalk, jewel-toned bolero jackets and sequinned nipple tassels were shown, before the label's "artistic advisor" Lindsay Lohan appeared. There were gasps from the front row and a thud of damp applause. It wasn't just the clothes, though they were difficult, described by the Guardian as "the first [collection] that could be happily summed up on Twitter", it was Lohan's face.

Lindsay Lohan… real age: 24; face age: 36. Photograph: Sipa Press/Rex Features

She had a forehead so taut and shiny it looked like an iPhone 4. Her lips were inflated to the size of a melting Twix, and her cheekbones looked as if they were climbing her jaw in order to dive to their death. Each change to her then 23-year-old face seemed to nod towards youth, but in fact imply age. This isn't to say she looked old – as she bounced down the catwalk, her hair streaming behind her, she seemed to have transcended age – she looked like lamb dressed as mutton dressed as duck.

Though traditionally cosmetic surgery has been used to make patients look younger, doctors are noticing a trend for women wanting to simply look "done". Rather than chase youthfulness with a scalpel, some seem to be choosing instead to fix their faces at a certain age (celebrity dermatologist Gervaise Gerstner suggests many women settle for 36) and maintain the look with injectable fillers and cosmetic treatments.

While few celebrities, Lohan included, will admit to having had cosmetic surgery, the surgeons themselves are outspoken. "It's a matter of the right procedure on the wrong girl at the wrong time," New York plastic surgeon Douglas Steinbrech told W magazine. "There's this new mentality that if you do not look a little bit fake, then the surgeon hasn't done his job. This used to be a much more prevalent idea on the west coast, but now you walk up Madison Avenue and you see these young girls with that cloned, cougar-like face. Either they don't know what they look like, or they want to look like they've had something done."

Heidi Montag... real age: 24; face age: 36. Photograph: Rex Features

There's nothing new in celebrities having cosmetic surgery, but the age at which they start is falling fast. Last year actress Charice Pempengco, 18, had Botox to look "fresh" for her role in Glee, and reality star Heidi Montag, 24, famously had 10 procedures in 10 hours. She later conceded that all the surgery makes "hugging" difficult.

In America, patients under 34 account for 20% of Botox procedures and chemical peels, and over 9,000 breast enhancement operations are carried out on girls aged 13 to 19. The move to look ageless though, rather than younger, is recent, with women today encouraged by some practices to get "preventative" Botox injections. But the more you get, some women are finding, the older you look.

British consultant plastic surgeon Norman Waterhouse thinks the year-zero face is the effect of fillers being overused. "When Botox is used with subtlety and finesse, the woman shouldn't look 'filled', she should just look less tired," he says. "And using fillers expands the skin, so if you use a lot, then as it disappears you eventually need more to plump it out, so you get trapped in a Botox cycle.

Of course," he continues, "there are a little subset of women who get work that astonishes me, turning themselves into a parody of feminine beauty – the 'party tits', the 'ice-rink Botox', where your face is completely flat and shiny, but that, I think, is missing the point."

Those who balance it right, pap photos suggest, achieve the look of the golden, ageless age: 36. "Some people wake up at 42 and realise they need to return to 36," says Gerstner. Demi Moore is 48, but, having allegedly had £200,000-worth of surgery (including a knee lift) looks at least a decade younger. "But the people who end up looking best have been planning for it all along." She recommends an expensive programme of Botox, lip fillers, laser skin resurfacing and glycolic peels for maintenance, all of which, administered well, promise to keep even the tautest 23-year-old looking like a 30-something with a year-zero face. ( guardian.co.uk )

READ MORE - The year-zero face: is 36 the perfect age for a woman?

Sex and Sex and the City

Sex and Sex and the City.The sitcom Sex and the City divides opinion. Its fans say it empowers women, painting a realistic picture of the difficulties of finding a mate and pursuing a career, and shows women as sexual beings in their own right rather than just submissive vessels for men's urges. Its detractors say it glorifies promiscuity and materialism.

The Sex and the City girls, Charlotte, Carrie, Miranda and Samantha: Do Sex and the City watchers have more sex, better sex, more adventurous sex?

(A third group, most easily defined as “men”, are completely baffled by it, and wonder why they are expected to care about the bleak, self-absorbed life of some vapid New York journalist and her caricatured friends, even if they do have some good one-liners. But they are not relevant here.)

But who is right? Do Sex and the City watchers have more sex, better sex, more adventurous sex? Are they more likely to sleep around? We took a look at the figures; 945 women in total answered the survey, 466 who have watched the programme, 479 who have not.

A word of warning: the data here is not sub-divided. We know that the average Sex and the City watcher, for example, is much younger than the average non-watcher (76 per cent of 25- to 34-year-olds have seen the show, compared to just 42 per cent of 45- to 54-year olds). What we can't do is assess from this data how much more likely SATC-watching 45-to-54-year-olds are to, say, enjoy their sex lives than non-watching women of the same age. So be a little careful of any shocked conclusions you may draw below.

Sex and the City watchers want good sex (and they want it when they want it)

Your average Carrie fan is considerably more voracious than the non-watcher. 14 per cent of those women who have lost their virginity and watched the show say that they usually initiate sex, compared to just eight per cent of those who haven't. More Samantha than Charlotte, then. (The national average is 29% however so this is taken out of context slightly)

SATC watchers want good sex (but don't seem to be getting it)

Asked to rate how happy they were with their sex lives, 24 per cent of SATC-watchers described themselves as “not at all happy” or “unhappy”, compared to 22 per cent of those who hadn't seen it. At the other end of the scale, 43 per cent said they were “happy” or “very happy” – less than the 46 per cent of non-watchers who said the same. Shades of Berger and Carrie's unsuccessful trysts? Or, as the lady herself might say in voiceover: do we have a right to good sex? And, of course, how good? See below.

SATC watchers get good sex (despite what they claim above)

Obviously there's more to sex than just reaching orgasm, but nonetheless, it seems the show's fans are being a little demanding. 69 per cent (yes, 69; feel free to snicker) say they “always” or “sometimes” achieve climax during sex, compared to 64 per cent of non-fans. So they're having more orgasms, but worse sex, which may suggest that they're setting their sights a bit high. Watchers are also more likely to think about sex all the time; 68 per cent think about it “at least once every few days” or more often, compared to 45 per cent.

SATC watchers are really good at sex (and aren't afraid to say so)

Intriguingly, while they are less likely to be satisfied with their sex lives, SATC fans are pretty confident they're not to blame. 42 per cent rate themselves as “Excellent” or “Good” in bed, compared to 34 per cent of non-fans. Conversely just eight per cent of watchers think they are “not at all good” or “not good”, compared to 11 per cent of the rest of the population. So all that bad sex they're having – it's someone else's fault, it seems.

SATC watchers want good sex (sooner rather than later, please)

They might not enjoy it, but SATC fans certainly can't be accused of not giving it a proper try. Watchers are more likely to have sex earlier in a nascent relationship (37 per cent by end of fourth date, compared to 20 per cent of non-watchers), and are more likely to lose their virginity earlier (mean age 17.75, almost six months younger than the non-watchers' 18.24). They are also more likely to have had sex recently (56 per cent compared to 49 per cent) and more likely to have it regularly (9.08 times in the average month, compared to 8.84). Still, they clearly aren't happy about it.

SATC watchers know good sex toys (and aren't afraid to ask for them in Ann Summers)

A whopping 44 per cent of Carrie fans own a sex toy. That's almost 1.5 times as many as the rest of the female population who do not watch the show (31 per cent). What is not clear is how many of them are misusing a neck massager, a la Samantha, although we hope that that data will become available in a future survey.

SATC watchers know good sex (but don't want to look at their partner's face while they're doing it)

While the positional thinking of SATC fans is largely the same as that of everyone else, they do have a greater preference for doggy-style sex than everyone else (20 per cent as opposed to 14). It would be cruel to make a Sarah Jessica Parker joke – something about not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, maybe – so we won't.

SATC watchers have had good sex (but not for a while)

This might be surprising, on the face of it: although SATC is all about women in late youth and early middle age having lots of sex, the show's fans are more likely to have had their best sex in their youth; 27 per cent said that their peak came between the ages of 18 and 24, compared to 17 per cent of non-fans. By the time they got to between 35 and 44, just 18 per cent say they were still enjoying the best sex of their lives, while 25 per cent of the rest said that was their best time. However, we suspect that this is at least in part because (as mentioned above) the women who watch Sex and the City are more likely to be younger. A 34-year-old is unlikely to claim her best sex happened in the future.

SATC watchers know unprotected sex (but don't want a baby)

Fans of the show are nearly twice as likely to have taken the morning after pill than their non-watching compatriots – 34 per cent to 18 per cent. However, again, the figure should be treated with caution; they are only slightly more likely to have had unprotected sex (59 per cent to 53 per cent). We think some of the difference is to do with the morning-after pill only became available in the UK in 1984, and was not widely used for some years after that. They are, however, also more than twice as likely to have contracted a sexually transmitted infection, by eight per cent to three.

SATC watchers know good, er, marriage (and aren't afraid to overuse a lame joke)

As you might predict, far fewer SATC watchers are married than in the general population – 38 per cent compared to 58 percent of non-watchers. While it would be nice to think this is because they're all hunting Mr Big, we should also remind you that they're likely to be younger; obviously younger women are less likely to be married. They are also less likely to be unfaithful in that marriage (11 per cent compared to 19) although since they are more likely to sleep around when they're in non-marital but committed relationships (25% to 18%) we think that's again just because they haven't had time yet. ( telegraph.co.uk )

READ MORE - Sex and Sex and the City

Making Couples Friends

Making Couples Friends. When my husband and I moved from New York City to Virginia, we knew absolutely no one in our new town. And, to make matters worse, we both work from home as freelance writers, so there was no office camaraderie to rely on for after-work bonding over drinks. We had to take matters into our own hands. Here are three ways we tried (and sometimes succeeded) to meet new friends.

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Whatever happened to the friendly neighbors who see a moving truck and welcome you with a freshly baked pie? Considering the house next to ours is vacant, no one was introducing themselves, and I wasn't quite brave enough to go door-to-door looking for friends, I grabbed my husband and went to a neighborhood meeting.

There, between the elderly man complaining about the traffic in our neighborhood and the elderly woman worried about the stop sign in front of her home, was a friendly young woman who lives on our street with her husband and two young children. To be honest, she was the only other person under the age of 50, so we were sort of drawn to each other. We got to chatting about our town and how long we've been there, and really hit it off. But would our better halves take to each other too? If they didn't, the whole dream of group backyard barbecues would be shattered.

One Sunday, they invited us over for brunch, and we all got along famously. Since then, my husband and her husband have spent more time together than even us girls have. And as a foursome (plus their kids), we've had each other over for those backyard barbecues I dreamed of. Cha-ching!

Being Set Up

It's not quite as uncomfortable as the blind dates I occasionally endured in my single days, but blind dating as a couple can still feel like a walk on a tightrope. What will we talk about? What if we have nothing in common? At least this time we have each other.

Not long ago, a friend from New York hooked us up with a couple who had also moved to town recently. We had briefly met them once before, but we couldn't remember if we liked them. We set up a time to meet at a nearby restaurant (one that wasn't too expensive, but wasn't fast food, either), and waited to meet them there. Not sure we'd recognize them when they arrived, we all had that same clueless "Are you the people we're meeting?" look on our faces, so it was pretty obvious. Conversation flowed smoothly, mostly because the first "date" is always good for the "Where are you originally from?" and "Where do you work?" type questions. But it turned out there was no need to even worry about having things to talk about -- my husband and I both found them interesting and fun. Hopefully, this is the start of a beautiful friendship.

Interactive Friendships

My husband and I love being active and trying new sports. So when we heard about "beagling" -- which involves a group of people out in the country running after beagles that are chasing rabbits, all the while shouting "Tally-ho!" -- we knew we had to see what it was all about. We got dressed in our best guess at what beagling gear should be (hiking boots and windbreakers) and ventured out into the field.

Right after arriving, I noticed we were the youngest people by about 40 years (seems to be a theme with us) and thought to myself, this should be interesting. And interesting it was! I got to talking with an 80-year-old man as he scaled the barbed-wire fences along with the rest of us. He was going a little slower than the pack, though, so I hung back with him and heard all about his career as a rocket scientist working on the first nuclear bomb. As much as I enjoyed the conversation (and I really did), I couldn't picture saying, "Hey, do you wanna hang out sometime?" to someone who could've been my grandfather. So maybe beagling wasn't the best way to meet contemporaries who we can backyard barbecue with, but we still had fun. In fact, I hope I see my 80-year-old rocket scientist friend once next year's beagling season starts ( thenest.com )

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Are You Married to a Bedroom Beast?

Are You Married to a Bedroom Beast?

The Cover Hog

Species: A spouse who unwittingly claims all blankets for themself.

How to tame: Never attempt to wake the cover hog unless you want to be featured on When Animals Attack! To reclaim your covers, grab the blanket and turn your body like a human roller. Or, have two blankets under the duvet so the hog can't get their hooves on what's rightfully yours.

The Night Owl

Species: A TV-watching, book-reading, lights-on menace to your sleep.

How to tame: It’s hard to keep a bird in a cage, but this one needs limits. Once you close your eyes, your night owl should be allowed to read or watch the tube for a limited time frame -- 15 minutes or less. Beyond that, they need to venture outside the bedroom and complete all activities in closed captioning (hint, hint).

The Hyena

Species: A mate who won’t stop snoring.

How to tame: Gently nudging the hyena is allowed, as it can rouse the humming, wheezing, jabbering animal for temporary relief. For chronic snorers, try breathing strips or go to bed early so you're already asleep before the midnight howling begins. P.S. There's always the couch.

The Octopus

Species: A hands-on touchy feeler who invades the coveted bed-space of their innocent, unsuspecting mate.

How to tame: Sometimes a cuddle is just that. Your mate needs affection, but it doesn’t have to last forever. Start the night off with five minutes of close hugs, a light massage, or a little hand-holding. The prize: The other person falls asleep, and eventually you can kick him to the curb and reclaim your space again. Zzzz...

The Stink Bug

Species: This partner (let's face it, we're talking about you) finds great joy in creating smelly situations under the covers. The victim is often unaware and tricked into bed.

How to tame: Have a good laugh and then grow up. Unless there’s an illness behind the rumblings (or a spicy meal), ask that all gas be passed before entering the bedroom and an effort be made to aim out the blast with minimal disruption. Keep room spray handy and don't forget to say your prayers. ( thenest.com )

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Here are seven storylines Obama needs to worry about

Here are seven storylines Obama needs to worry about. Presidential politics is about storytelling. Presented with a vivid storyline, voters naturally tend to fit every new event or piece of information into a picture that is already neatly framed in their minds.

No one understands this better than Barack Obama and his team, who won the 2008 election in part because they were better storytellers than the opposition. The pro-Obama narrative featured an almost mystically talented young idealist who stood for change in a disciplined and thoughtful way. This easily outpowered the anti-Obama narrative, featuring an opportunistic Chicago pol with dubious relationships who was more liberal than he was letting on.

A year into his presidency, however, Obama’s gift for controlling his image shows signs of faltering. As Washington returns to work from the Thanksgiving holiday, there are several anti-Obama storylines gaining momentum.

The Obama White House argues that all of these storylines are inaccurate or unfair. In some cases these anti-Obama narratives are fanned by Republicans, in some cases by reporters and commentators.

But they all are serious threats to Obama, if they gain enough currency to become the dominant frame through which people interpret the president’s actions and motives.

Here are seven storylines Obama needs to worry about:

He thinks he’s playing with Monopoly money

Economists and business leaders from across the ideological spectrum were urging the new president on last winter when he signed onto more than a trillion in stimulus spending and bank and auto bailouts during his first weeks in office. Many, though far from all, of these same people now agree that these actions helped avert an even worse financial catastrophe.

Along the way, however, it is clear Obama underestimated the political consequences that flow from the perception that he is a profligate spender. He also misjudged the anger in middle America about bailouts with weak and sporadic public explanations of why he believed they were necessary.

The flight of independents away from Democrats last summer — the trend that recently hammered Democrats in off-year elections in Virginia — coincided with what polls show was alarm among these voters about undisciplined big government and runaway spending. The likely passage of a health care reform package criticized as weak on cost-control will compound the problem.

Obama understands the political peril, and his team is signaling that he will use the 2010 State of the Union address to emphasize fiscal discipline. The political challenge, however, is an even bigger substantive challenge—since the most convincing way to project fiscal discipline would be actually to impose spending reductions that would cramp his own agenda and that of congressional Democrats.

Too much Leonard Nimoy

People used to make fun of Bill Clinton’s misty-eyed, raspy-voiced claims that, “I feel your pain.”

The reality, however, is that Clinton’s dozen years as governor before becoming president really did leave him with a vivid sense of the concrete human dimensions of policy. He did not view programs as abstractions — he viewed them in terms of actual people he knew by name.

Obama, a legislator and law professor, is fluent in describing the nuances of problems. But his intellectuality has contributed to a growing critique that decisions are detached from rock-bottom principles.

Both Maureen Dowd in The New York Times and Joel Achenbach of The Washington Post have likened him to Star Trek’s Dr. Spock.

The Spock imagery has been especially strong during the extended review Obama has undertaken of Afghanistan policy. He’ll announce the results on Tuesday. The speech’s success will be judged not only on the logic of the presentation but on whether Obama communicates in a more visceral way what progress looks like and why it is worth achieving. No soldier wants to take a bullet in the name of nuance.

That’s the Chicago Way

This is a storyline that’s likely taken root more firmly in Washington than around the country. The rap is that his West Wing is dominated by brass-knuckled pols.

It does not help that many West Wing aides seem to relish an image of themselves as shrewd, brass-knuckled political types. In a Washington Post story this month, White House deputy chief of staff Jim Messina, referring to most of Obama’s team, said, “We are all campaign hacks.”

The problem is that many voters took Obama seriously in 2008 when he talked about wanting to create a more reasoned, non-partisan style of governance in Washington. When Republicans showed scant interest in cooperating with Obama at the start, the Obama West Wing gladly reverted to campaign hack mode.

The examples of Chicago-style politics include their delight in public battles with Rush Limbaugh and Fox News and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. (There was also a semi-public campaign of leaks aimed at Greg Craig, the White House counsel who fell out of favor.) In private, the Obama team cut an early deal — to the distaste of many congressional Democrats — that gave favorable terms to the pharmaceutical lobby in exchange for their backing his health care plans.

The lesson that many Washington insiders have drawn is that Obama wants to buy off the people he can and bowl over those he can’t. If that perception spreads beyond Washington this will scuff Obama’s brand as a new style of political leader.

He’s a pushover

If you are going to be known as a fighter, you might as well reap the benefits. But some of the same insider circles that are starting to view Obama as a bully are also starting to whisper that he’s a patsy.

It seems a bit contradictory, to be sure. But it’s a perception that began when Obama several times laid down lines — then let people cross them with seeming impunity. Last summer he told Democrats they better not go home for recess until a critical health care vote but they blew him off. He told the Israeli government he wanted a freeze in settlements but no one took him seriously. Even Fox News — which his aides prominently said should not be treated like a real news organization — then got interview time for its White House correspondent.

In truth, most of these episodes do not amount to much. But this unflattering storyline would take a more serious turn if Obama is seen as unable to deliver on his stern warnings in the escalating conflict with Iran over its nuclear program.

He sees America as another pleasant country on the U.N. roll call, somewhere between Albania and Zimbabwe

That line belonged to George H.W. Bush, excoriating Democrat Michael Dukakis in 1988. But it highlights a continuing reality: In presidential politics the safe ground has always been to be an American exceptionalist.

Politicians of both parties have embraced the idea that this country — because of its power and/or the hand of Providence — should be a singular force in the world. It would be hugely unwelcome for Obama if the perception took root that he is comfortable with a relative decline in U.S. influence or position in the world.

On this score, the reviews of Obama’s recent Asia trip were harsh.

His peculiar bow to the emperor of Japan was symbolic. But his lots-of-velvet, not-much-iron approach to China had substantive implications.

On the left, the budding storyline is that Obama has retreated from human rights in the name of cynical realism. On the right, it is that he is more interested in being President of the World than President of the United States, a critique that will be heard more in December as he stops in Oslo to pick up his Nobel Prize and then in Copenhagen for an international summit on curbing greenhouse gases.

President Pelosi

No figure in Barack Obama’s Washington, including Obama, has had more success in advancing his will than the speaker of the House, despite public approval ratings that hover in the range of Dick Cheney’s. With a mix of tough party discipline and shrewd vote-counting, she passed a version of the stimulus bill largely written by congressional Democrats, passed climate legislation, and passed her chamber’s version of health care reform. She and anti-war liberals in her caucus are clearly affecting the White House’s Afghanistan calculations.

The great hazard for Obama is if Republicans or journalists conclude — as some already have — that Pelosi’s achievements are more impressive than Obama’s or come at his expense.

This conclusion seems premature, especially with the final chapter of the health care drama yet to be written.

But it is clear that Obama has allowed the speaker to become more nearly an equal — and far from a subordinate — than many of his predecessors of both parties would have thought wise.

He’s in love with the man in the mirror

No one becomes president without a fair share of what the French call amour propre. Does Obama have more than his share of self-regard?

It’s a common theme of Washington buzz that Obama is over-exposed. He gives interviews on his sports obsessions to ESPN, cracks wise with Leno and Letterman, discusses his fitness with Men’s Health, discusses his marriage in a joint interview with first lady Michelle Obama for The New York Times. A photo the other day caught him leaving the White House clutching a copy of GQ featuring himself.

White House aides say making Obama widely available is the right strategy for communicating with Americans in an era of highly fragmented media.

But, as the novelty of a new president wears off, the Obama cult of personality risks coming off as mere vanity unless it is harnessed to tangible achievements.

That is why the next couple of months — with health care and Afghanistan jostling at center stage — will likely carry a long echo. Obama’s best hope of nipping bad storylines is to replace them with good ones rooted in public perceptions of his effectiveness. ( POLITICO )

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