Focus on what matters People aren’t as loving and compassionate as they used to be. Everyone is so preoccupied with getting ahead, which is a stress on relationships. Don’t put love on the back burner; you need to recognise what makes you feel alive and cared for, instead of just surviving day-to-day life the small things
Constant love It’s easy to be loving when the setting is romantic, when you’ve got an extra jingle in your pocket or when you’re looking good, but love grows in the midst of our frantic, daily lives. It’s about noticing the look on your partner’s face that says, 'I’m having a really bad day,’ and responding to that. The small, simple actions keep love alive. It doesn’t mean you have to stop your stressful life, but you may have to shift your focus a bit
Don’t forget You can tell when new couples are in love because they’re holding hands, kissing and talking. When people have been together for a while, they stop that. It only takes a few minutes to say hello and smile. To help refocus your relationship, write a joint statement of your love philosophy. This states what matters to you and what you want to focus on each day
Practice makes perfect My trainer says if I want flat abs I’ll actually have to go to the gym. I can’t just think about it and wish for flat abs. It’s the same with love and compassion; we have to practise it every day. Being compassionate towards the people you see all the time – your friends, family, co-workers – will help you have a better relationship with your partner
The right tool for the job Communication in a relationship is essential, but sometimes we overtalk and complain to our partners. It’s nice to be quiet and to let the energy between you develop. I have a 'conversation toolbox’, which consists of sentences you should use regularly: 'You might be right’, 'Help me understand’ and 'Tell me everything’. They invite a more open conversation
A good influence Your partner will not always be on the same wavelength as you every day; he or she may even be driving you crazy, or vice versa. Don’t force each other to change. Instead try to tune into each other’s moods and feelings – we have a lot to teach each other
Worth the risk Love invites us to grow up, even if it doesn’t always work out how you want it to. It’s like the old saying: it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. By the time I was 34 I had had every marital status – married, widowed and divorced – but I wouldn’t change a thing. People say I’m mushy, because I love talking about love, but that’s fine with me ( .telegraph.co.uk )
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